My Great Perhaps

Sometimes I feel that I am ambling my way through life, not sure of which direction I really want to go in, and despite not always sure of where I’m off to next, my feet continue to carry me forward. Though, forward sometimes follows a zigzag pattern. In my mind, there is no backwards, and I think, after several years of consistently working hard, that I need to take a step back. This doesn’t mean slacking off in the work that I already do, but allowing myself more time to enjoy and experiencelife outside of work.

There have been clues that I’ve needed to do this for awhile. These little flags consisting of burnouts and breakdowns were becoming all too normal. It became clear that I had been checking off ‘not attending’ or ‘unable to make it’ to a lot of events held by friends and family. And what was my reason?

Work.

Work. Work. Work.

And I wouldn’t have seen it that way until it was pointed out to me. You never come to these things, you’re always working. In my head, I was doing the noble thing. I was pursuing my career, my next big adventure, and wondering, why can’t they just be supportive? I’ll be at their next birthday when this project is done. But the projects are never done, and I continue to dip my hands in more and more because I like the intoxication of being busy, of letting work consume me. And now it’s consumed me so much, I look back on the past few years and pose the question; was I working to live or living to work?

Birthdays, like New Years, are points of reflection. And as my next birhday looms on the horizon, I realized, I need to stop missing out on these things. These events are important to me. They connect me with my family, my friends. I think we all have times where we have to reconsider our priorities and obligations.

The decisions I’m mulling over for my next steps do scare me. They are some of the biggest leaps I will ever be taking. But I’m comforted in the fact that I’ve been ‘fearless’ before. I’ve skydived. I’ve booked a spontaenous two-month trip to Italy with an agenda that was scrapped once I got there. But the skydiving was when I was 20 years old. The trip to Italy was in 2014. Now I’m  just a few years away from 30, and I wonder why I have tossed my bucket list aside. Rabelais’ last words were “I go to seek a great perhaps.” And I fully acknowledge that I don’t know what lies in store for me, but I hope the ride will be worth it.

I say I love travel but haven’t done much outside of weekend getaways or destination parties. Or even the occasional work trip. But in my inbox sits a bevy of travel emails, beckoning me to traverse the trails and wander the primordial lands of some far off place. And I sigh looking at these while on my breaks, checking my calender and seeing I’m already booked up or can’t take the time off because it will coincidence with something else. My busy schedule has allowed me to realize that my little day and weekend trips are travel. I live in one of the most interesting regions in the world. Take for instance, my last post, in which I legitametly stopped to smell the flowers  – the lavender flowers. I had no idea that there was a lavender field just a short drive away. But it’s opened my eyes to the possibility that there is so much more just within reach.

This summer I’ve taken a magnifying glass to my behavior and have been reassesing what I want and scarily enough, it may not be the same thing I wanted just a few short years ago. That thought alone absolutely terrifies me. I’ve worked so hard and now I may want something else. My mind spins gut-wrenching thoughts about starting from scratch again. Whatever my next move is, I’ll be glad to have just moved.

 

Chapter X

As you can see I have been quiet on here the past couple of weeks. There just doesn’t seem much to discuss.

But something did come up.

I started a new job in NYC yesterday. I really like it, and it was so unexpected. My office is right by Bryant Park so it is nice to eat lunch there. Today they had Broadway shows in the park, and I chowed down on my Nutella sandwich while listening to some very talented performers belt out tunes from Les Miserables, Chicago, Atomic, and Pippin. Les Miserables is one of my favorite shows and it was such a nice midday treat.

I am struggling with the commute. It is expensive for me. This weekend I will set aside some time to plan out a better budget than I have now.

Either way it is nice to be a part of the rhythm of New York City.

It’s been a while!

Howdy!

So much has changed for me in the past few months, I can barely decide where to begin. Actually, how about I catch you up with the present. On Monday, Memorial Day, I am leaving for a month long trip to Italy. I’ve joined the WWOOF program and cannot wait to get on the farm with my sleeves rolled up. I am also spending a few days with my family over there, I am excited to see them.

I finished my proofreading position in early May. At first I was scared because I didn’t know what I was going to do after that, but then I decided to follow my heart. And my heart was grasping for Italy.

When I went to Italy five years ago for the first time, my soul was awakened. I see Italy as hallowed ground for me. All my past is rooted in there. It was important for me to go and to walk where my ancestors have. It was very special to me.

Now upon my return I am looking to establish a connection with the earth, the very ground that has sustained this life. My journey feels some parts spiritual as it does fulfilling my wanderlust bug.

I will be learning all about biodynamic farming and reaffirming my belief that our food needs to be organic, pure. My health depends on this as much my mind. I’m excited for the manual labor.

I will have internet connection in Italy so I will be updating. For the next month this will be my travel blog. Stay tuned!

Phew

I’m really glad I made it into work today, it was such a struggle. We were once again pelted with another snowstorm. These legendary Nor-Easters bring the region to a halt. Yesterday we were sent home early from work because the conditions were so bad.

I planned to drive in to work today because I figure the roads would be plowed, but my family talked me out of it. I also live 30 miles from my job. I shoveled my driveway and was warming up my car when my mom intervened. Instead my dad dropped me off at the train station, but I was a minute late for the train, and we pulled up as it chugged out of station. Bummer. The next train wasn’t until an hour later, but I had no choice, and stuck it out in the freezing temperature. Since the trains were running on their weekend schedules I had to transfer and wait twenty minutes for my transfer train. When I finally got to my station I hopped in a cab and made it to work. Only about five other people in my department made it in today.

I’m feeling a bit under the weather, unfortunately. I wore two pairs of socks and plastic bags in my snow boots, fleece leggings underneath my work pants, thermals, a t-shirt, and a a faux-fur lined sweater and I was still cold underneath my winter coat, scarf, gloves, etc. Water must have seeped into my boots when I had shoveled snow because my feet were wet the whole time I was waiting for the train. I cannot wait to take a hot shower/bath when I get home tonight. My commute home will be a pain in the neck too, no doubt.

But I like my job, and it’s important. I just wished the transportation worked out better…

Definitely cannot wait any longer for spring.

Work Zombie.

I’m starting to think that my Halloween costume this year will be a work zombie, because I have no spare time outside of work to do anything of my own. This is of my own accord, I chose to work this much, but stress is high and made worse by the loved ones around me who do not understand why my schedule is the way it is.

I’m having a great time at my internship and am learning so much. Sure I am tired, and constantly worried about how I am going to fill my gas tank up with a measly part-time job paycheck, but I just remember, this too shall pass.

I am on my way!

Oh and another thing, I set up a professional public Facebook page. “Like” it on Facebook to get quick updates,especially because I only update this blog every few days.

Thanks again 😀

Oh brother!

I’ve been so busy, and I’m starting to feel the cons of it, such as feeling run down and stretched out.

I applied for a new part-time job at a grocery store because the hours are better for me. I would be able to work after my internship for a few hours, giving me a day or two off for the weekend to relax, recuperate, and enjoy a small social life.

Plus, I am just flying through gas money and it is so concerning to me because I obviously can’t work without it. I’ve been really spacey and out of it today as well, and I think I just need a day in my pajamas, a cup of hot cocoa, and a few books and movies.

Also, my internship informed me that online articles eventually get taken down, so I need to find a way to get them onto PDF files and stick them here. Will update my featured publications page with them when I get around to that.

There’s discrimination for everything

So I have very curly hair and I recently cut it several inches.  In June, my hair reached the curve of my back, and now my hair just falls over my shoulders. It’s always a huge change when I chop off so many inches.

So why am I talking about my hair on a blog about journalism?

Apparently, having curly hair is unprofessional in the workplace.

Yes, on occasion I do straighten my hair, but that takes nearly an hour and standing with a hot iron for an hour is not something I want to do in the summer, and all the time.

I came across this post.

But, darn it. I love my curly hair. I feel confident and powerful with it. People love to talk about it and play with it. It’s exciting.

But it is not unprofessional. I’m appalled that an employer would tell someone they can’t do their job because of what their hair looks like.

My hair does not affect my writing, it does not affect my intelligence, and it sure as hell shouldn’t have any affect over what jobs I can get. That should all be based on my skill and intelligence.

/endrant.

Wrote this last semester

I had to write a tragedy article for a class last semester, so I chose my dad.   Obviously I can’t publish it but I thought it would be nice to share.

Enjoy!

________

by Laura Cerrone

Angelo Cerrone does not like to remember his near-death experience 35 years ago. So much so, his wife barely knew it even happened.

In 1976, Cerrone was 22 years old, working for the aviation service company Allied at John F. Kennedy International Airport in Jamaica, Queens. He was assigned to troubleshoot a company bus that would not turn on. Cerrone recalls the only other person was the bus driver, one with no knowledge on fixing a vehicle.

“I troubleshooted the vehicle and it still wouldn’t start, the battery was okay, so I knew the problem was elsewhere.” said Cerrone.

He proceeded to inspect the undercarriage of the vehicle. He had instructed the driver to stay in the driver’s seat with the bus in park and his foot on the brake. Cerrone remembers the moment the bus turned on – and suddenly it began to move, dragging him underneath as the driver pulled away.

“It was a burning pain. It was like a hot rash. Like I was set on fire.”

Cerrone gripped onto the bus’ chassis. “If I were to let go I would’ve been run over.”

He was dragged almost 20 feet before his screams were heard by the driver. In a matter of minutes an ambulance arrived and took the young man to Peninsula General Hospital.

For Cerrone this could have been the end to his life, or the end to his dreams working in the airline industry. As a young boy, Cerrone grew up in post-World War II rural Italy. He lived on a farm where he shared a room with four other siblings, and used an outhouse. When his father brought him home a broken bike, Cerrone fixed it. When he moved to the United States at 13, he saw opportunity all around him, the biggest of all was working for the airline industry, because to him there was nothing more powerful and magnificent than an airplane.

Cerrone had sustained lacerations running up and down his back, internally he was miraculously unscathed.

While physically he healed with a few days in the hospital and several weeks off work, he wasn’t emotionally ready to take on his job again.

Cerrone turned to a friend of his mothers named Marisa Schiavello, Schiavello specializes in spiritual prayer healing. While Cerrone attended his regular doctor check-ups to check for possible infection he also sought sessions with Schiavello. Schiavello and Cerrone’s mother would swaddle him in bandages and then pray to God for him to heal.

“Emotionally it helped, made me feel that God was on my side because I wasn’t killed.”

Cerrone now lives in a house he worked years to build with a wife and three kids, a cat, and two bunnies. He still works for the airline industry at American Airlines where he gets to watch airplanes take off and land, still fascinating his inner-childlike awe.

Cerrone reflects on everything he has now and imagines it could of all been very different.

“The scariest thing about this ordeal is that I thought it was the end of my life.”

German Newspaper Layout

I love this new layout, and I think it will be something I can handle.

Especially with how full my semester will be.  I’m taking six classes, 17 credits worth.  I’m also on the e-board in two clubs.  Not to mention I go to the gym and try to have a bit of a social life.

I just got done with my first week of classes for the new semester.  One my classes starts next week so I haven’t been to all of them.

My classes are:

Text Me! – This class is about computer mediated communication.  I’ve found this topic really interesting especially with my fascinaition (and addiction) to social media.  But now I get to learn the history of all of it, like how the Justice Department and ARPANET are two major factors in me being able to write this on my laptop.

Literature of Journalism – My professor speaks the truth in this class.  Literary journalism is something I’ve never had the chance to do, and it will be fun to add a flair of creativity to personal narratives while social commentating the way I see things.  Love it already.

Arts Writing – Writing about music, film, art, dance, theater… and the whole rest of the gambit.  My professor was a editor of the Rolling Stones magazine.  Cannot wait for her anecdotal stories and report on some of my biggest interests with integrity and the tools I need.

Investigative Journalism – Probably my favorite so far.  Taught by a New York Times reporter, I learned more in the first class than I ever did before.  This was the perfect class to take, I can’t wait to take the knowledge I gain and translate it into real impactful stories.

Advanced Editing – This class runs an online newspaper.  We are in charge of everything, assigning the stories, editing, fact-checking… we’re pretty self-efficient.  Getting a taste of ‘the real thing’ should brace me with a little more backbone for actual (and virtual) newsrooms.

Intercultural Interaction – This is the class I start next week and have once a week for seven consecutive weeks.  It’s my one credit modular course and all I know is that I will be working on some sort of project that involves a student from a foreign university.  Sounds pretty exciting, pretty stoked!

So, with all that said, most of these classes are upper division.  Which means the workload is…is… scary.  I’m looking at my homework list from this first week and don’t know how I will pull it altogether